it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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