Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
