just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
so let's talk penis.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
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