Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
that is very illegal...i love you.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
