She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize