don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
