Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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