I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
