i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
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