I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Randomize
