It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize