his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
