I think scott just propositioned me for sex
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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