Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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