Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
jump out the window naked night went bad
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