I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
