My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
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