are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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