White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The power of my boobs compel you
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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