You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
