at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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