Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
