Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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