That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize