i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
