Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
