Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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