Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
