his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
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