Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
