Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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