why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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