Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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