the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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