I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
