just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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