zippers are such a cool invention
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
PANTIES FOUND
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
