Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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