what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I wear drunk well.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize