It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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