Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
my liver is dry heaving
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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