just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
birth control should be required to get into college
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
