So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
