She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
