I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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