A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Randomize
