So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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