remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
