His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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