Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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