So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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