i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
