She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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