I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
