I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
