Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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