my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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