I just saw a hot homeless man
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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