Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
