hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
