haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
