i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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