whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
