u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
