youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
