It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I came so hard my ears popped.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
