YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
