counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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