Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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