If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
