I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
