he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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