ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Are we still banned from the library?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Randomize
