i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
