If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
