for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
