I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
